Sunday, November 25, 2012

Honesty Hour

I was sitting back, folding up some laundry and catching up on New Girl when I realized that I needed to get back to blogging. So, here I am, my fingers itching to type something, but I'm not too sure what may come out. I was feeling angsty and a little down in the dumps about life and "being adult" and such, but sometimes a little act of kindness from a perfectly nice stranger makes all the difference. So now I'm here with these fuzzy warm feelings mixed with this feeling of my brain almost reaching an epiphany about life, and now I've come to a complete and confused stop.

I guess I could talk about Thanksgiving and friendships and such. I guess I could whine about how procrastination is the devil and how I'm constantly practicing it (even now...), and I could bitch about how much time I waste doing nothing but sitting at a computer, dreaming about what I could do with my life and my future and the classes I should be attending and how much more effort I should be putting into my work. My problem?

INSPIRATION.

I am not inspired. Nope. Not one bit right now.
I can feel it, right on the tip of my tongue, a shadow standing just behind me, on the verge to washing over me and giving me all of these brilliant ideas and a boost of confidence to go out and seize the day!

But my inspiration glass isn't fully tipped over, so I'm stuck at the bypass.

How do you get out of the inspiration rut? How does one push that glass further when they're just shrugging their shoulders when they think of things they could do?

I realize, now, that I need to work in the moment. I get these weird surges of ideas and have this sudden passion to make something, but in that moment I'm working on one thing or on my way to class, so I just push it back in my mind to work on later. Advice?

DO NOT DO THAT.

I'm calling this "Honesty Hour" because I'm gonna be 100% honest with myself and the world in this post about whatever I'm feeling. So, honestly? Pushing back those ideas is just hurting them, because I know I'll never really get back to them. I push them back because I feel like I don't have enough time or enough talent to do them or finish them.

Okay, enough time? PLEASE. Talent? You have to work to get that talent! You can't be like the artists you look up to when you wake up one random day! And you won't complete anything if you never start anything.

Woah. There it is. My epiphany: You won't complete anything if you never start anything.

How true is that? And what great advice to remember, too? A really famous and inspirational person has probably already said that before, but I'm just gonna take the credit for this second because I feel like my brain just whipped that together in a moment of honesty to myself.

Another thing for Honesty Hour: I'm scared to start new things. Terrified! I want to do so many interesting and fun things, but you know what stops me? The thought that I'll be by myself, that I'll meet new people and have to introduce myself.

WHAT.

Like, seriously? As I read my true fear to myself, it sounds really ridiculous to me. You know how you get inspiration? NEW EXPERIENCES AND NEW PEOPLE.

I'm scared of failure before I even try. Now that is ridiculous: how do I know I'm going to fail before I even walk through the door? As I type this, I think of my old friend and how afraid she was to go and do new things. She finally threw herself into dance classes, even though she was one of the most awkward and stiffest people. You know what? She loved it so much, she ended up teaching people dancing. That is what you get when you start new things! YOU CAN SUCCEED.

I need to get past this irrational fear that I'll be bad at things and that everyone is going to tell me "No" or be mean. I CAN DO THESE THINGS. If someone tells me "No", fine! If I'm not good at something, okay! I can either try harder or find something I'm good at. There are so many things I want to do that I just need to get up and try.

Okay, super honesty moment: my newest obsession is slam poetry. I've been watching videos of all these inspirational poets and I just want to do that. I have this inner need to do it. And why am I not?

Maybe I feel like I'm not inspired enough to write "good" slam poetry. Maybe I feel like I won't be able to do it. Maybe, even, I'm a little scared.

Scared of what? And what constitutes as "good" slam poetry for me when I have yet to write anything?
You know what? Here we go. I am going to write a poem every day this week and post it.
I'm feeling fiery and fiesty and saucy and a little empowered right now, so I'm making this goal. Another honest moment: I make goals and rarely reach them. But I'm forcing myself to make this one. Because I'm gonna post that goal for the world to see and if I don't make it, I won't be able to just tell myself "Oh well, no one knew about it anyway," because people will. As soon as I push "publish", you'll know and I hope, whoever reads this, gets on me to post my slam poetry or whatever comes out of my brain this week. And you know what? Bring it on, world! Bring on that photojournalism project I have yet to do because I'm scared to talk to strangers! I'm gonna do it (okay, well I have to to pass, but now I have AMBITION). Bring on that slam poetry goal! Bring on swing dance and hoop classes I want to take! Bring on roller derby! Bring on dating! Bring on writing! Bring on creating!

BRING. IT. ON.

(Woah, honesty hour got really real for me there.)

xoxo

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Cha-cha-changes

I've been gone for a little while, thanks to my odd life lately. I've gone through a break up, friendships ending, new friendships beginning, and a whole lot of not sleeping. My life is kind of on a wacky track right now, but it's a little refreshing.

Actually, who am I kidding. I'm actually pretty happy. This life I'm living right now is so new and unexpected and fresh. I have so much time and freedom to go out and do what I want. I've lost people on the recent path I was taking, and although I miss them, I can't go back anymore and try to fix what is broken. I've hurt them, I've said my apologies, and that's all I can do. I cannot please everyone, because in the end someone gets hurt and I'll go insane. I guess it took some losing to realize this fact, so now here I am, focusing on how I really feel and what I want to do, and I am absolutely happily overwhelmed by all the possibilities I have.

Ending a relationship is never easy. Someone always falls out of love first, then has to be the bad guy and follow their heart. I've always been this person, and it's a curse. I can't apologize for how I feel, and I won't. I can't help what I feel, so that is how it goes. I'm not angry or going to play "I hate my ex" card, because that's not how it was! After seeing some things they posted, I guess we weren't as mature as I thought, which completely solidifies my choice even more. I'm hitting a different road and won't take someone with me when it isn't their calling. We were meant to do different things with our lives, so it had to be done.

After not blogging for so many days, I feel so rusty and unable to put my thoughts out clearly. Then again, I am still in my pajamas at 3:00 pm and all I've done is watch old Adventure Time episodes, went window shopping online, and ate some nasty ramen with the intentions to get caught up on readings. HA.

I haven't been taking as many photos as I'd have liked to, but I did get my film developed from my Holga camera recently! I might have said something about that in an earlier post (if I didn't, I am now!), so here are some of my favorites (and the ones that actually came out...).

Rosewell House.


My absolute favorite spot on campus.

Sample Gates at dusk.

Art store Pygmalion's. CATS LIVE IN HERE.

Kirkwood from a bug's eye view.

Sample Gates at sunset.

My bff Reira lookin' all pretty.
 Yep. I love my little film camera! I think I might go out and take some pictures with it now, while the weather is nice and beautiful out. Hope your Sunday is full of whatever you want to do!

xoxo

Friday, November 2, 2012

Halloween In Review

Well, this week has flown by, and along with it Halloween. Did it even happen? Is it really over? Are there really 363 days left until next Halloween?

I felt like I had been living in this beautiful orange-and-black hazy daydream, and that I was in Halloweentown. I'm not a hundred percent sure on how to come back from Halloweentown and enter (let alone function) in the real world.

Even though my Halloween wasn't extremely eventful, and I didn't do much,but  what I did do and the people I was with made it one to remember. And that's all that really matters, isn't it?

I woke up on the day of Halloween with a smile on my face (that's not a joke). I hopped into my costume and was ready to take on the world (maybe just class). I wore my costume proudly, while most of the people around me seemed to not even notice that it was Halloween. I just wanted to jump up and scream to everyone "WHERE IS YOUR COSTUME? DO YOU KNOW IT'S HALLOWEEN?!". I get very worked up about Halloween.


After classes, I went home and carved the lone pumpkin that was left in my house, then made a quick costume change, slapped some zombie makeup on my friend Leah, and we were ready to hit the town (well, Wendy's). We walked in proud, relishing in the stares and the questionable looks people gave us.


Afterwards, we went cemetery hopping. What a better night to contact spirits than Halloween? So we creeped through the night, the full moon casting everything in a bluish glow. We made it to two different cemeteries, but the cops were at the third one we had planned to go to, so we just drove on.

Throughout the entire day, there was this magical, static feeling in the air to me. I didn't want to fall asleep, because that would mean Halloween would be over. Finally, my eyes couldn't stay open and the next thing I knew, I woke up in bright sunlight and that magic feeling was gone.

They say that the curtain between the living and the dead is thinnest on Halloween, and maybe that's true. Maybe that's what I felt. Maybe it was the nostalgia of Halloweens past and they were all swimming through my mind that day.

Whatever it was, it was Halloween and it was great.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Ghoul-Approved Music

Hello, again! Less than three days until Halloween, and I'm pretty excited. I'm planning on a nice little dinner with friends, maybe carving a leftover pumpkin, then wreaking some havoc on my town. Or just watching a lot of horror movies or going to a haunted house! So many choices, so little time...

Speaking of little time, do you have a Halloween shindig in the works? Maybe you're a little overwhelmed by all the tune possibilities to play at your party? You don't want your choices to be too obvious, but you don't want your guests to be bored to death by the third song. Never fear, reader dear! I'm here to keep you the life of the party, and make sure your guests will dance their toes off, all the while appreciating the nice Halloween-ness of every song.

Ghostbusters theme song: Okay, so this isn't the actual video for the Ghostbusters theme, but it is quite hilarious. Maybe put this up towards the beginning of your party to warm up your guests? Whatever you do, this song is so perfect for Halloween. Not one person doesn't know the line "Who ya gonna call?".
 
 
 Black No. 1- Type O Negative: I just stumbled on this song this summer, and I really dig it. Like, a lot. Plus the extended version even says "Everyday is Halloween," so it's automatically a favorite. Not really for kids, but it still rocks.


Little Red Riding Hood- Sam Sham and the Pharaohs: I can never stop thanking Pandora for this little ditty. I frequent the Halloween Party Station (but sometimes it goes on a random tangent), and this gem popped up. I cannot get enough of it. It's so dark and awesome and just great. 
 

Halloween- The Misfists: Anything Danzig comes up with, I love, obviously. But when it's about my other love, Halloween? Then it's pretty much my soul mate. So this song I listen to year round, but it's blasphemy not to play it on Halloween.

Graveyard Party- Be Your Own Pet: This band is killer, but this song? It's so awesome, and it's about zombies partying and drinking and eating people. So pretty much what you'll probably be doing on Halloween (except the eating people...), so you might as well make it your anthem now.


Killer's Touch- The Graveyard Stompers: This band is actually my uncle's band, but they are too amazing to not include! I mean, they dress up as ghouls, have stage names like Ophelia Shiver, and they play all types of different instruments. This is one of their originals, which was filmed at a haunted house by my hometown. If you like what you hear, check out their site! They actually just released their album Who's Got The Mojo, which is chock full of Halloween jams. You won't be disappointed!


Living Dead Girl- Rob Zombie: My older brother listened to White Zombie and then Rob Zombie when I was a wee baby (he even named our dog Zombie), so I was pretty much fated to love rock music and Rob Zombie. Well, sure enough I do and Halloween isn't Halloween without playing any of his music. This is one of my favorites because it's just a good song to move to.


I could keep going on and on and on with this list, but I figured I'd cut it short or else your guests would be dancing for eternity. I'll definitely be moving my feet to these songs in a few days, but for now I'm off to watch Hocus Pocus again to relive my childhood distraction-free!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Friday Eye Candy

I'm baaaaack... And here to bring you some handsome faces to swoon over, too! This FEC theme is sexay vampires. I'm dressing as a vampire pin up tomorrow for a party, so my brain's pretty batty right now.

David from The Lost Boys. I heart bad boy vamps.

So Michael technically wasn't a full vampire, but who cares?!

Of cooourse I couldn't have this post without this man^
Not a Tom Cruise fan, but his Lestat? Fan fo' life.

Interview was just a load of beautiful men, obviously...

Spike has always been my favorite vamp in Buffy. Team Spike!

...Eric Northman, everyone.

My favorite, though? Gary Oldman's Dracula. What a suave man.
This weekend will be crazy busy for me, so I'm taking a little break from blogging this weekend, but I'll be back on Monday to blow up the blogosphere like crazy for the last days before Halloween! Have a lovely weekend!

Monday, October 22, 2012

First Time Carvers

So this weekend was all together a nice early Halloween celebration! My friends came over one night and we watched The Shining. Jack Nicholson is the creepiest person in the world to me... Anyway, then the next night we carved pumpkins, watched Hocus Pocus and then went to a costume party! The lighting is kinda poop, but here's a bunch of pictures from my weekend in all its glory.

Leila's very first pumpkin stab!

Kyra and her ginormous pumpkin.

Leila was not too pleased by the pumpkin guts.

Leah hard at work.

Adding the eyes.

Me and Pugsley!

Me, Pugsley, Leah and 'the Ghost of Halloween Past'.

Leila's very first jack-o-lantern, Baby Derpy!

Earl, Pugsley, G.O.H.P, and Baby Derpy, respectively.

The gang's all here!
I laughed so hard at Leila's wonderful pumpkin. The best part was that she was the last one done carving! Proud o' her. This weekend will be more costumes and Rocky Horror and hopefully if the weather is dry, leaf piles! Hooray!


Friday, October 19, 2012

Paranormal Activity Over the Years

Last night, my friends and I filled an entire row in the center of the movie theater to watch the midnight showing of Paranormal Activity 4. I will admit, I was terrified, but I laughed and screamed the entire time, thanks to a group of guys in front of us making jokes along with us. It was like a big slumber party, except you had to pay eight bucks for your drinks. After seeing it, I thought I'd take a nice little stroll down memory lane with each of the films and compare and contrast them, along with my most memorable moments while watching them.


Paranormal Activity: This movie scared the crap out of me. It came out in 2009, my senior year of high school. I went with some close friends at the time, and the theater was absolutely packed. That was probably the best experience to see it in, when the theater was completely full. You could feel the tension from everyone, and not a single person dared to say anything or look away from the horror on the screen. It was unlike any other film we'd ever seen before (well, Blair Witch Project had influence, but Paranormal had something new entirely).
        Comparison: The first one didn't have any animals, it didn't have any creepy kids, it didn't have any whiny teenagers. All it had was a guy, a girl, and a creepy ass demon. AND THAT WAS ENOUGH. I thought the first one was so simple that it was perfect. It didn't need more than what it had, because let's remember how frightened we were just watching what happened every night in the bedroom. We didn't need to go all over the house, we didn't need more characters, we just needed those footprints of flour and our bladders betrayed us.
        Memory: My friends and I had gone to the theater the night it came out, and the ONLY time they checked my ID was that time. I was eighteen, but I didn't have my ID so I couldn't get in. I WAS FURIOUS. So I immediately got my ID and the next weekend we went! AND I DIDN'T HAVE MY ID CHECKED. Just my luck. The best part, though? Our guy friend was sitting next to my jumpy friend, and it was during a part where it was daylight and no scary things happen during daylight, right? She was texting and all of a sudden a picture frame gets smashed, and she jumped and flailed her arms, punching him right in the eye with her phone. Priceless.


Paranormal Activity 2: I saw this one my freshman year of college, 2010, with my boyfriend Nick. I was dying to see it, it had been out for a week and I needed to see it. So, before he took me back to school on a Sunday night, we decided to go. I didn't really know until we sat down that Nick hated scary movies. And we had gone to see it in IMAX, on the huuuuge screen with surround sound. This one made me jump a bit, but I wasn't as pleased with it as I thought I would be. It didn't really scare me as much, but I will not deny it had some definite creepy parts. The theater wasn't as interactive and was pretty empty (well, we did see it on a school night), so I think that took away from the film.
        Comparison: Well, this was a continuation of the previous film, a prequel and a sequel at the same time, I'd guess? It had a little kid, which you know makes the film 10x creepier because you know shit's gonna go down with him. Then it had the teenage girl who has an annoying boyfriend and a dad that doesn't listen and then the stepmom who ties us to our dear Katie from Paranormal. Just a happy family, right? WRONG. This one definitely ties up a lot of loose ends that the first film gave us, and also makes even new discoveries for the audience. It has a dog, which everyone knows animal sense ghostly presences, so that dog was a definite device to creep you out. Creepiest scene in my opinion? Mom getting dragged down the stairs (it can't be a Paranormal film without someone gettin' a ride on the Spectral Express), or when she's in the room with Hunter when the girl walks in and she jumps up and does this demon-y voice.
        Memory: Well, it was a daytime scene (again!), and I felt Nick kind of relax. I just knew something was going to happen. I tried to predict what would happen, but once the cabinet ripped open and shot out, I could have sworn Nick and I were going to have heart attacks. We both jumped so high, and the few people in the theater all screamed. Everyone looked around and laughed nervously. You got us, PA 2.


Paranormal Activity 3: This came out last year, 2011, when I was a sophomore. I didn't get to see it in theaters, but my friends and I did end up seeing it, watching it in my friend Leah's room. She, my friend Kyra, and I huddled up on Leah's little bed, gripping blankets with our eyes glued to the television. I thought this had better moments than the last one, and the boyfriend and his friend weren't too bad looking. It also gave the audience way more answers to what was up with this demon in the family, and how it came to be and why everything was happening to this family, and why they were all rich as hell.
        Comparison: No animals to creep you out, but now DOUBLE the creepy kid dose! Plusss now one of the kids has an imaginary friend (guess who!), who lives in a little cubby. Not scary, not at all. Paranormal 4 is a prequel to the others, showing how it all started out. I really liked that idea, and thought it was ultra creepy. I will never forget the babysitter moment when the 'kid' stands behind her in a sheet Casper style, then right before she turns around, it falls to the ground. NO THANK YOU. I would never ever babysit there ever again. Oh, and remember when the mom walks into the kitchen and just at the moment where you and her realize that everything is sitting on the ceiling? THEN IT ALL CRASHES DOWN. And then there's that creepy witches' coven that just has to ruin everything. Why couldn't you guys be the Sanderson Sisters, instead?
        Memory: My favorite moment with any of the Paranormal films. We were all huddled there, watching it on this huge TV. It sat on a shelf, where there were some knick-knacks and her roommate's hat that her boyfriend had given her. Well, of course stuff was moving around, thanks to imaginary friend Toby, and a bear in the movie falls off a shelf. Not even two seconds later, the hat falls off the shelf, and I see it starts to fall, so I'm scrambling back, then I start screaming, then we all start screaming and grab each other. Her roommate walks in, thinking we're dying, while the three of us are all hugging and just staring at the hat in terror. That was scarier than any moment in the Paranormal films. Of course, we laughed after the fact, all the while keeping that eye in our sights....


Paranormal Activity 4: Well, let me just say that this one probably has the most intense moments back to back than the others. The last twenty minutes will be a lot of heart gripping, yelling, screaming, and possibly not even looking at the screen. At least that was my experience. I'm not going to say a lot about it, so I won't spoil it to any readers out there, but just be prepared to be pleased. I will tell you that, for me, it left a lot of questions unanswered and not many ties fixed. BUT I did call part of it, in a way. Won't tell you what, but you'll see!
        Comparison: So, just to compare all the ones before to this: Paranormal 4 is a combination of the third one and the second one, in the fact that there is two kids AND a cat, so animals and kids combined make for a weak bladder's enemy. Also, there is the teenage girl that no one listens to, the boyfriend, and parents that barely do anything. And, warning: think Xbox Kinects aren't scary? Think again.
        Memory: Well, I think the whole night was memorable, but I really loved that, at one point, I was hiding my eyes and glanced up for a second and saw that almost half of the guys sitting in front of me were hiding their eyes, too!

Some of the jokes last night were priceless, I wish I could remember them exactly. If you're going to see this, I'd suggest seeing it at a later time when more people are there, or with a large group of friends. If you don't like that community fright feeling, then go on with your bad self and see it alone! I know I wouldn't be able to...