Kids are creepy.

Close your eyes. Imagine you're laying in bed, moonlight spilling through the window and laying perfectly across your blankets, leaving the rest of the room in darkness. You feel a presence suddenly, and open your eyes to see a man in black staring at you. Scary?

Now, imagine you're laying in the same room, but instead when you open your eyes, you see a child with long hair and black eyes, staring deep into your soul. Did you feel that chill?

Every time, no matter what, if a horror movie has a kid in it, living or dead, you're guaranteed nightmares. Why are kids so creepy? Maybe it's because they're supposed to be innocent and pure, but then they turn out to be the reincarnation of Satan. Maybe it's that fact that they're supposed to be young and only think about toys and candy, then they talk to you about death and ghosts. Maybe it's that they're so cute, you'd never expect them to stab you to death. Or maybe it's just because kids are terrifying.

Don't believe me? Here are some kids that will make you wet yourself and cry for your mommy.



She just wants a hug.

Samara Morgan, The Ring - I could barely even look at the screen when I googled this little creepster. The first time I saw this film, I buried my head in my mom's shoulder the entire time. I don't think I've seen the film since, thanks to this little bundle of evil. The long, dark hair and pale skin are just the perfect combination on a little kid for goosebumps. And look at that face, only a mother could love. Well, almost.

Rynn Jacobs, The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane - Young Jodie Foster is surprisingly creepy in this film. Rynn Jacobs is one of those examples of little kids that know more than the average adult, which is a trait of the ideal creepy kid. Plus those bodies in the basement don't help.

Damien Thorn, The Omen 1976 - Just look at that little cherubic face, looking down and smiling. If you saw what he was looking at, you wouldn't being thinking "What a cute wittle face!". This little demon spawn (literally, he's the Antichrist) is just pure horror, all wrapped up in an adorable package. I bet Satan's proud.

This kid does not play nice.

 Gage, Pet Sematary - I HATE THIS LITTLE KID. Have you seen this film? I bet you're thinking "What a cute kid."  His evil little laugh while he carries that knife to slice off your ankles is really cute, huh?

Regan, The Exorcist - I can't even justify this queen of the horror children with a picture, she's creeps me out so much. I tried looking up a picture, but I couldn't bring myself to actually put one in the post. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just look up The Exorcist. Get ready to not sleep.

Issac, The Children of the Corn 1984 - Okay, all the kids in this movie were terrifying, but this kid took the cake. The original version of this film isn't as bad as the actual story or the Syfy remake, but it was still pretty spooky. The way Issac looks at you makes you cringe with fear. Also, his voice made me want to choke him the entire film. God, I hated that.

These are just a few of the creepiest kids in movies that just justify never having kids. I mean, seriously, what if your kid ends up being one of these? Whew, that's incentive to just own cats and guinea pigs my whole life.

Wait, are there evil cats, too?

happy haunting xoxo

Movie Madness

Sorry for the little hiatus this week! My goal of posting everyday did not expect for the bad news I received this week, so I will be a little behind on posting this coming week as well, but I will try my best to post fabulous things to make up for it. I need something regular to keep me in check, so I'll try my best, just bare with me.

Update: For my month long horror movie marathon (which I am behind, as well) I watched the films The Loved Ones, Delicatessen, and the classic Rocky Horror Picture Show. I had read about The Loved Ones on another cryptkeeper's blog (I can't remember who it was now! Thank you, anonymous cryptkeeper!). Let me just tell you right now, if you like deranged unrequited love that wields an electric screwdriver, this is right up your alley. Honestly, it was surprisingly disturbing.

This ain't no Pretty in Pink.

If you easily get songs in your head as well, prepare to never be able to get the main song of this movie out of your head. It will consume your entire brain and you won't stop singing it until you get another creepy song stuck in your head (in my case, that awful "I Fink You're Freeky". Don't look it up).

Delicatessen had been a film I'd been wanting to see for ages, so I was so happy to find it in one of my local movie 'stores' on campus. I got to see most of it, and of what I saw I was really pleased as punch. The view of it was so beautiful and different, and the costumes were just wonderful.

It did have its odd parts and pieces, but overall I thought the film was very enjoyable (even with all that death and cannibalism, but we can look past that). My favorite character was Aurore Interligator. She hears voices that drive her to suicide attempts that end up going haywire and saving her. Her whole look and style and characteristics are just so original and classic. Oh Aurore, I love you.

Silly Aurore, you don't wear clothes in the bathtub!

And there's nothing to say about Rocky Horror Picture Show, since I've seen it over thirty times probably, so we'll just skip that part.

COSTUME UPDATE: I've had quite a few changes of heart, when it comes to my costumes (not surprising in the slightest), so my new costume ideas are as follows:

Shaun from Shaun of the Dead

 

Okay, so I love this movie. Seriously, I could watch this movie everyday. Maybe that's because of Simon Pegg or maybe because it's hilarious, but either way it's great. So, thanks to my new found love of Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now", my brain thought up dressing as Shaun for Halloween. I mean, yeah I'm not a guy, but I DO NOT CARE ONE BIT. So, you might just see a female Shaun walking around this Halloween, fighting off zombies.

Thor

I don't know what's up with me and dressing as men for Halloween (I was Garth Algar from Wayne's World last year), but I feel like they end up being the greatest costumes. PLUS I love wearing Thor's helmet from Target and I already have a hammer, so it's pretty much in the bag for me.

And then I thought of just dressing as a zombie, because last minute blood and carnage is the most fun thing to do. I went walking through the Halloween store and all these  sailorettes and nuns were grinning at me, and the costume that caught my eye was the bloody pin up. Now that is my kinda costume.

OH! And last weekend my friend and I went out to see Hotel Transylvania. Let me tell you now: It was the cutest film ever! I highly suggest going to see it. The Mummy is the coolest, and the Wolf Man's kids are freakin' adorable. You won't regret it!

I hope you're having a good day and enjoying your October 6th. I am off to go pumpkin patchin', so be prepared for pictures. Woo!

Happy Haunting! xoxo

 

 

The Best Witches in the Biz

Ever since I was little, I've been fascinated with magical humans. I would be so jealous of the cool powers witches would have, flying on brooms and casting spells. Plus they always had the coolest outfits and attitudes. AND CATS. God, I love cats, so it's just another obvious reason to love witches. I can't tell you how many years I dressed as a witch for Halloween, simply because I think they're awesome. The majority of my repertoire of Halloween movies (or just movies in general) have something to do with witches or just people of the magical kind, so I've had quite a few idols to look up to for witchy ways. There are a few, however, that stand over all the rest in my eyes.

Eva Ernst, the Grand High Witch, The Witches

 

I watched this movie religiously as a kid. Now that I think about it, my favorite childhood films were probably movies I shouldn't have been watching. I mean, think about The Witches. They turned a boy into a mouse, then talked about eating children, THEN the scene where all the witches are boiling and changing?! Absolutely creepy. But enough about that, let's talk about the Grand High Witch. Eva Ernst was pure evil and fabulous the entire time. First off, she didn't take crap from anyone (that probably had to do with all that evil). And then check out that frickin' fashion sense. I mean, that purple cape. I adored it when I was little, I just thought it was too classy. I'd still kill to have one, but the thing that separates me from Eva is that she's a badass witchy woman and I am a mere human being with no magical skills whatsoever. Bummer.

Nancy Downs, The Craft

 A crazy gothic Catholic school girl with some hidden power, Nancy Downs wormed her way into my heart the moment my preteen eyes peered upon The Craft. Yeah, she was a bit crazy. Yeah, she tried to kill Sarah. So what if she kissed snakes? Nancy was the tits. I mean, how could you not love her? I secretly wish I was a teenager in the 90s so I could have dressed like her. I was jealous of how cool her getup was and that she could pull off black lipstick. And that crazy glint in her eyes became a little endearing. And, come on, someone has to be the bad guy; Nancy just had enough balls to take the role (or it was all that pent up teen witch angst). 

Alexandra Medford, The Witches of Eastwick

Okay, so I'll let you in on a secret: I am a fan of anything Cher does. Go ahead, laugh. My pops loved Cher, so naturally I listened to her and watched her movies as a kid and kind of inherited that love. But whap Cher with some magical powers and I'm head over heels. Jack Nicholson creeped me right the hell out, but I loved The Witches of Eastwick, 'specially cause my girl Cher. She wore cute pigtails and rode a badass bike. Enough said.


Willow Rosenberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

 

 Willow Rosenberg is one person I would trust with my life (er, well, if she was real). Let's be real, Buffy would've gotten sucked dry by some vamp a long time ago if she hadn't been friends with Willow. Willow was always my favorite in Buffy (except for Oz). I felt connected to her, with her quirkiness, awkward fashion sense, and love of libraries. Maybe it was her ginger hair, too, but mostly because she was this quiet girl that turned out to be the most powerful of the Scoobies.

Luna Lovegood, Harry Potter series

 Bless you, Luna Lovegood. Ever since your first appearance in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, you have been my absolute favorite Hogwarts student. I believe in every word you say, and won't question your knowledge on nargles. Luna was the most interesting person in the entire series, be the positive girl she was with all that sadness happening around her. And, looking past all her weird knowledge and talks, she gave the best advice. And her radish earrings are super cute. AND her Patronus was a damn otter. How much better can you get?!

Winifred Sanderson, Hocus Pocus

 Best for last, in my book. Winifred Sanderson, you fox. Hocus Pocus is my all time favorite Halloween movie. I remember watching it when I was in kindergarten, and I always admired the Sanderson Sisters. Their clothes were the most beautiful colors and they had the coolest house. I felt they were just misunderstood. I mean, sucking the lives out of little children? Please. More like teaching kids some respect for the elderly. Or maybe kids' souls just taste good. Anyway, Winifred had the powers and the pipes. I mean, let's not forget the awesome "I Put a Spell On You" performance. That song is still on my top ten list of Greatest Halloween Songs Ever. And she had the perfect evil cackle, the one that makes you almost wish you laughed like that. And she turned people into cats. I mean, how is that not the best power ever?! What, you're gonna speed up while I try to cross the street? BAM, you're a cute cat that I get to cuddle now. Now that's what I call karma.

These ladies are the cream of the crop, in my opinion. Got any that I missed? Leave a comment and tell me who and why! Jeeze, if I could just put all these witches into a house and have some cocktails and pick their brains, I would be the most knowledgeable person on the planet. Okay, maybe just the happiest since I'd be chillin' with some cool ladies with magic powers. And one at least has to have a cat. Or we could just make our own. Kitties and cocktails, what a night!

xoxo

Horror Movie Month Night One: Texas Chainsaw Masacre

So, last night my friends and I rented the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I hadn't seen it in almost nine years, so I was pretty pumped. That is, until after I watched it and remembered why it had been nine years since I'd seen it. IT WAS HORRIFYING. I mean, that is the whole point of the film, to terrorize you into skipping trips into Texan territory (or am I the only one to get that feeling?), but COME ON. I sat there, with my belly full of happy little Halloween cookies in my newly decorated home, feeling all ooey gooey and pleased. That feeling stopped abruptly when that weird camera noise and the grotesque body came on the screen. Do you know what I'm talking about? That high-pitched noise that cuts through the air and right into the very core of you where you store all your warm, cuddly thoughts and makes them scurry off to hide? Oh, you don't? Well, HERE IT IS. Just listen to it in a dark, silent room.

Did you cry? Oh, then that's just me... Anyway, that's only just the beginning of the horrorfest. Remember that part when the hitchhiker cuts himself and keeps cackling? I didn't either, until my brain was introduced to that awful image again. And then you have creepy ol' Gramps whose drink of choice is BLOOD. I couldn't stop cringing back in disgust when he sucked Sally's finger dry, with his crinkled skin and awful noises. That entire scene just gave me the goosebumps...

But, of course, the most terrifying of all is dear old Leatherface. One: he's wearing a woman's face. Or a drag queen's, but either way it is THE FACE OF A PERSON. Fun fact: this movie is based on the serial killer Ed Gein. SO IT'S REAL. Well, partially, but back to our friend Leatherface. He's a silent killer, all for the occasional grunting and the whirr of his sidekick, his chainsaw. And let's not look past the fact that he can run like a linebacker all the while wielding that heavy chainsaw like it's a bouquet of flowers. Add a nice bloody apron and he's the perfect guy to take home to the parents. He can carve the hell out of a steak. Or your brother.

My brain was rescued from the depths of terror at the end, at least. When Sally hops in the pickup and drives off in a laughing frenzy, Leatherface does this cute little dance, twirling around with his chainsaw in the fading sunlight. Figure skaters, take note.

I literally typed in "Leatherface Dancing" and this golden nugget popped up. Oh, internet, you slay me. All in all, this movie, on a scale of one to a change-of-pants, it receives a definite on-the-edge-of-no-bladder-control. And then your bladder loses it at the sight of Leatherface's dance, srsly.

Well, the month long horror movie agenda has officially started, beginning with Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Not sure what's on the agenda tonight, but I can guarantee it won't have a wonderful musical number in it like Leatherface's.

xoxo

11 Reasons Why October 1st is Awesome.

Take a big breath in. Smell that crisp air with a hint of magic and pumpkins? That, my dear reader, is the first of October. Now, for those of you thinking "Doh ho, the first of October is not stupendous in the least bit!", let me tell you that it indeed is stupendous and in the most bit. Here are eleven beautiful reasons to get down with October 1st.


1. Every single store now has Halloween related things everywhere.

Before, in those early days of September, I would creep along the aisles looking for anything black and orange. I only found a few dog costumes and random cookie cutters, but NOW I can't walk into a store without the burst of black, orange, bats and skeletons. It's like you live in Halloweentown or something.

2. Pumpkin patch is officially open.
 I freakin' love the pumpkin patch. I don't care if I'm twenty-one and can't fit on the kiddy train anymore, the pumpkin patch is still amazing! I love going out and picking that lucky little pumpkin and running through the corn maze like an idiot. And don't get me started on the hayride. Yeah, your pants might be full of straw and your butt a little itchy, but it's SO. FUN.

3. You can talk about costume ideas and not look crazy.
If you don't already know, I plan my Halloween costumes for the year pretty much as soon as it's November. I usually have about ten or fifteen different ideas by summer, and then have to narrow it down to the official choices once September hits (that way I have almost two months to work on it). Unfortunately, most of my best costume ideas come to me closest to Halloween, but by then I can confide with all my friends about my different ideas and then they don't just roll their eyes and say "It's the 4th of July, what are you talking about?!"

Is Thor a cool girl costume?

 4. You are guaranteed apple cider and caramel apples.
As soon as I feel a chill in the air, I get this intense craving for apple cider. However, usually stores don't have those goodies until late September, but there's no reason for any store NOT to have apple cider or caramel apples by October 1st.

5. Halloween decorating is now appropriate.
If it was my decision, Halloween decorations would be up all year long (okay, maybe I do...), but on October 1st no one can tell you it's too early to put out that screaming skeleton or staple a thousand pumpkin lights to your house.

6. You can find at least one Halloween themed movie on TV.
Usually the Halloween specials are saved for later in the month (or 13 days before Halloween, ABC Family), but on October 1st I guarantee you one movie on your television is either creepy or has something to do with Halloween. If you don't see a single pumpkin on your TV during October 1st, I will throw you a personal movie marathon.

7. PUMPKIN CARVING.
In September, you don't really know how the weather will be, but once October 1st hits, the temperature will probably be consistent enough, so you can get to carvin' some pumpkins and they won't warp or get all ooky. No one likes a deformed Hello Kitty that you spent hours on (but you could always say she's the zombie version).

"Well hey there, little kids!"

8. Halloween Party invites.
People don't like having parties with no people showing up, so October 1st is the prime time for invitations to go out (or at least word-of-mouth talks about parties). You might want to stock up on some costumes now.

9. Giddy feeling when you're reminded that it's now October, which = Halloween.
Every time I look at the calendar, I get all squealy because I realize it's October and officially the Halloween season. September's cool and all, but once October 1st rolls around, then it is OFFICIALLY HALLOWEEN SEASON.

10. Haunted houses are open for business.
I LOVE haunted houses. I mean, who doesn't like getting the crap scared out of them? As soon as October begins, the doors of every warehouse and the rows of every cornfield are opened up to the public, transforming into a live horror film. This weekend you can bet you'll see me peeling through a corn maze, Leatherface blazing a path behind me with that trusty chainsaw of his. See you this weekend, Leath-y!

What a nice guy.

11. 30 DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN.

I can't really elaborate more on that reason.

 Happy First-of-October everyone! (With those reasons, how is October 1st not a national holiday?) I hope everyone is celebrating accordingly, I am actually going to split to prepare for decorating my entire home in Halloween decor and drinking my weight in apple cider. Yeah!

xoxo

The beginning of the best month of the year...

IS A MERE 42 MINUTES AWAY. I have so many things planned for this month, which I probably won't even be able to keep up with but here's to hoping, I can't even comprehend it. ALSO, I'll be listening to a nice little advanced preview of the new Cadaver Dogs album tomorrow, so tomorrow can just not be good!
 I am hosting a kickoff celebration for October 1st. It's a decorating party and we're gonna watch scary movies and just have a gay ol' time. I'm just really excited to get October underway. AND THEN, after October, it's November, which means Nano, which means another month full of happiness. YIPEEE!

So, this past week has been an interesting experience. First off, I didn't get to see Pitch Perfect , thanks to long lines and little seating. Instead, I went on a nice little shoppin' trip, where I got to cuddle with cute puppies and laugh a lot with friends I don't get to see much. Also, I got a plastic bat ring, so that's cool. Thursday I had the wonderful chance to go to dinner with some of the Dogs and show them a bit of my town. Of course I was super nervous and had clammy palms the entire time. I also cursed an excessive amount, which happens whenever I have to talk to new people (or attractive people). They were super nice and hilarious. I got to hang out with them a little bit when we got to the venue, but not as much as I'd like. They DID put me on "the list", though. I'd never been put on "the list", let alone had a chance to say "I'm on the list". When I did, I felt so frickin' cool. I mean, THE list. It's legendary, the list. (secret: it really isn't that cool, it's just when you get in for free cause the band is super awesome. So maybe it is really cool.). Anddd my little crush told me good luck on econ, and that just made my life.

Another note: I'm obsessed with the song "Lil' Red Riding Hood" by Sam Sham and the Pharaohs. IT IS JUST TOO GOOD. I can't really explain why I love it. I guess I like those darker, hot songs. Plus the singer howls in it, and I just love howling in songs. Don't ask me why.

Today I bought a graphic novel that I'd had my eye on for awhile called Friends with Boys by Faith Erin Hicks. I really like the art and the story seems interesting already, so I'll probably be talking about it soon enough. And, costume update: Grady twins are a go, but by myself I think I'll be Thor (femme version). We'll see what happens there....

Okay, so I'm gonna cut this post here so I can refresh my brain and post the real stuff for tomorrow! Yay!

xoxo

Real Talk: I am a ginger fiend.

I think it's time I let the world know one of my addictions: gingers. Fiery red hair that sparkles in the sunlight just makes my heart go pitter patter, especially when the face attached to it is adorable. I'm not sure when I developed gingeritis, but I have it bad. I cannot even explain to you what it's like to have ginger fancy. If you got the ginger fever too, then prepare to giggle like a schoolgirl at these treasures. If not, you might want to prepare yourself, too, because you might walk away with a case of gingeritis. Here's a list of some of my favorite red headed beauties to give you a taste:

Josh Homme, lead singer of Queens of the Stone Age: Okay, one: A ginger in plaid? Don't get me started. But a ROCK GINGER IN PLAID? I get so many feels over this picture, I can barely keep my clothes on (kidding). Okay, maybe not kidding all that much.

 Fifield from Prometheus: I don't know what it is about men in mohawks, but I love 'em almost as much as gingers. And this just takes the cake for me. The whole time I was in the theater, all I could think was "Oh ma gawd, ginger mohawk..." Plus I dug his head tattoo, so Fifield was just a bundle of hotness for me.

 Domhnall Gleeson: This sexy redhead played Bill Weasley in the Harry Potter films. Although the Weasley men were pretty much all gorgeous (appreciation pause for Fred and George...okay, go), Bill just was too good to be true. But the actor, Domhnall, is even more wonderful out of character. I mean, seriously, look at that beautiful hair and his freakin' ginger scruff. I mean, LOOK, guys. How can you not swoon for that combo?

 Prince Harry: I never really paid any attention to the princes overseas, but recently with the Olympic Games and all that jazz I realized that Prince Harry has got that hot ginger vibe going on.

Seth Green: Ever since I watched Buffy, Oz stole my heart. Seth Green is just absolutely adorable, and he's goddamn hilarious. I mean, try to stare into his eyes without cracking a girlish smile (dudes, too). You can't, can you? It's just the ginger in him. Or his cute face. Or maybe the two combined.

 Jareth the Goblin King: Okay, so maybe he isn't full blown ginger, but he has a ginger tint. Ever since I was little, I had the biiiiiggest crush on the Goblin King. Now that I watch it, I can appreciate David Bowie's portrayal as the Goblin King even more. I don't know what it is, but this ginger-blonde goblin has got it going on.

Micheal Fassbender: Oh my dear sweet baby Jesus. Micheal Fassbender is the god of beautiful gingers. Whenever this man was born, angels wept because of his ginger beauty. Srsly, I can't even stand to look at him because I am so unworthy to look at his ginger beauty. I actually did not know this man was full-on ginger until I google searched 'ginger actor'. And then I died. He is just perfection, honestly. I can't even follow up with anyone else after him, I'm swooning so hard right now.


If you are reading this and still cannot understand why I love red hair, then I just sadly shake my head. I'm not really sure how to wrap up this not-so-secret love of mine anymore...so....GINGER FIEND FO' LIFE.

xoxo